Nothing feels worse than seeing a friend or family member struggling and thinking there’s nothing you can do to help. If you suspect a friend or family member is being abused, there are things you can do.
Let your friend know about the services offered in your community, like us at C.A.R.E. Reassure them THEY ARE NOT ALONE and that if he/she doesn’t want to discuss the abuse with you, they can contact a certified victim advocate for FREE and everything they say is completely confidential.
(941) 627-6000
(941) 637-0404
(941) 475-6465
(941) 499-8534
report knowing a friend who has experienced violent and abusive dating behaviors.
On a typical day, domestic violence hotlines receive approximately
phone calls nationwide
You can bring up the subject of domestic violence by saying:
“I’m worried about you because …” or “I’m concerned about your safety …”
Maybe you’ve seen the person wearing unusual clothing for the weather to cover up bruises or noticed the person wearing extra make-up. Maybe they have suddenly become unusually quiet or withdrawn. All of these behaviors can be signs of abuse.
If the person does decide to talk, listen to the story without being judgmental. This can be difficult at times for many of us, just do your best. Offer advice or suggest realistic solutions. Let the person vent their feelings and fears. You may be the first person in whom the victim has confided.
Domestic violence is more about control than anger; often the victim is the only one who sees the dark side of the perpetrator. More often than not, friends and family members are shocked to learn that a loved one could commit acts of violence. Consequently, victims often will feel that no one will believe them if they told people about the violence.
Examples include:
It’s not unusual for victims to express conflicting feelings about their partner and their situation.
These feelings can range from:
It’s important you validate their feelings by explaining having these conflicting thoughts/feelings is completely normal. It’s also important you confirm violence is NOT okay! It is NOT normal to live in fear of being abused.
Let them know their potential; they will survive and overcome this situation. Describe all of their good qualities; “You are: strong, beautiful, intelligent, resilient, etc.
Reaching out for help takes A LOT of courage. There are many factors that may delay your friend from seeking help or leaving their abuser.
Here are just a few examples:
There is also a good chance if they leave their abuser, they may go back. Please remember to be patient and supportive despite how frustrating the situation may become. Your friend/ family member needs you!
Call our Crisis Hotline at (941) 627-6000, or our Englewood Area Help Line at (941) 475-6465.
You can also text us at (941) 499-8534.
Make it clear to the victim you believe the assault happened and the assault is the fault of the abuser, NOT the victim.
You might feel shock, anger, or rage, but expressing these emotions to the victims may cause more trauma.
Medical care is important; there may be internal injuries that are not obvious, or the victim may have been exposed to sexually transmitted diseases. Victims are entitled to a forensic medical exam, whether or not they decide to report the assault to law enforcement.
Control has been stripped from the victim during the assault. Allow the victim to make their own decisions about what steps to take next while staying supportive.
Let the victim decide who they will let know about the assault.
Listen without adding your opinions. If the victim wishes to remain silent, do not force discussion. Say you will be there to listen, always. It’s important for you not to judge a victim’s response. One victim may react very emotionally and another may be extremely calm. No matter how victims react, their emotions are normal and okay.